Fortunately, addiction is treatable and there are things that you can do to improve your success in overcoming your addiction. Rather than staying silent and fuming, families that speak up are doing something to make things better. Those conversations could not only have a wonderful impact on a family’s spirits but also positively impact their communities.
This government scrapped a plan for £1.1bn for social care reform shortly after coming into power and today there was just £600mn for a sector that is facing a recruitment and retention staff crisis. Employers will now also have to find extra money to fund pay rises and an increase in national insurance contributions. Amanda says healthy conflict invites curiosity because it’s centered around trying to understand and solve something together. For example, scolding, nagging, and arguing can be seen as enabling because we’re giving our loved ones a distraction, a reason to believe that we—not the addiction—are the problem. The question of enabling gets downright murky when it comes to deciding whether to allow an addicted child to live at home or when grandchildren are involved. Families facing these and other heart-wrenching situations can benefit from the support of an addiction specialist.
Yet, to an outsider, it may appear confusing as to why someone would stay in a relationship with a person who struggles with addiction. However, codependency is nuanced, and every couple needs to address their struggles with codependency and substance use disorders in their own way. Research suggests that online therapy can also be an effective treatment option for substance use disorders.
Substance use disorders affect biological functioning, dominating the brain’s reward system, affecting emotional regulation, motivation, impulse control, and pleasure-seeking behaviors. The when you love an addict brain and body become dependent on an outside substance to create feelings of happiness and well-being—and, at advanced stages of the disease, to simply maintain the ability to function. In people with addiction, dopamine receptors activate and tell the brain that drugs are rewards. Over time, the brain changes and adapts as it becomes dependent on the substance being used. Lectures and confrontational techniques are usually ineffective and often damage relationships that could be levers of change. What’s needed is an approach that is more collaborative than confrontational—reaching toward a goal everyone can be happy with.
Your partner may be more willing to talk about their depression or anxiety with you or a professional than talk directly about their substance use. This can be a way for them to get some kind of help that can ultimately lead to positive changes in their alcohol/drug use. In the meantime, establish boundaries of acceptable behavior and consequences of unacceptable behavior inside the family. Educate yourself about addiction, how it changes people, and what treatment possibilities exist.